Widow's Voice

Sad Songs DO Say So Much

| Posted by:

This has not been one of my better weeks. Sadly, my kitty with the illness died on Monday night. Tuesday I had to make a 3 hour drive to pick up Mario’s dad at the airport on 3 hours sleep. Wednesday I found out that the Jeep repair I was originally quoted $1900 jumped to $6600 and will probably take another 2-3 weeks. There have been bizarre technical issues with client websites all week.

As the kids say these days, I am cooked this week. Basically, I really need a break.

I’ve always thought music carried an emotional element to it. This week, I’ve been listening to a lot of my favorite tunes as an attempt to counterbalance reality. But sometimes, especially when it comes to grief, music can really intensify feelings. There are several tracks that would always just do me in when I heard them after Mario died. It’s taken a full 5 years for me to be able to listen to these without tears or verging on tears. Maybe 5 is the magic number, at least for me, for such things. So in honor of that, here’s my Top 5 sad songs…

#1 Song to the Siren (This Mortal Coil)

This used to be Mario and I’s “sad song”. Whenever either of us experienced grief or something sad, we’d listen to this one, not to wallow so much but to just really feel the emotions. Neither of us could make it through this song without crying.

#2 The Promise (When In Rome)

This one was pretty much “our” song. So it just reminds me of Mario every time I hear it. I remember when I first joined the gym, it would randomly come on (and it’s not like it’s a highly popular song and it’s from the 80s, so that was weird) and I would definitely struggle with hearing it.

#3 Ashes to Ashes (David Bowie)

One of Mario’s favorite Bowie songs and back when we were all doing custom ring tones on our phones, this opening few seconds were what I assigned as Mario’s ring tone. So I can’t hear this song without thinking about him.

#4 Purple Rain (Prince)

Great song, but yet another one that totally reminds me of Mario.

#5 The Sun Always Shines on TV (A-Ha)

This is a great song that is not really a sad song but because it was the first song that played from Mario’s iPod on random the day after he died, it makes the list.

So what are your sad songs and have you reached a point where you can actually listen to them without breaking down?

About Sherry Holub

I met my spouse, Mario, at UCLA School of Art in 1993. After graduating in 1995, I founded a small agency specializing in web and graphic design. Mario became my partner in the company in 1999. In 2002, we were married at the Costa Mesa, CA court house because neither of us wanted a big wedding ceremony (after already being together since 1995).

Mario was a highly talented artist, musician, illustrator and 3D Designer, but a tortured one. He was one of those gentle, creative souls who ended up burning twice as bright for half as long. Mario lost the battle with liver disease induced by alcoholism (almost exactly 6 months after he became sober) on 2/10/21.

I’m a long-time artist and writer with a background in photography who enjoys cooking, getting outdoors, staying young at heart, and sharing experiences to potentially help others. When it comes to writing, I’ve written both for fun and professionally over the years. Writing is also sometimes therapy for me and I don’t mind sharing my personal experiences with a wider audience.