… and you are the artist
Don’t know if it was my week at the ocean or the buckets of tears I’ve cried while watching movies and tv shows or attending back to back hockey games (and we won!) or maybe just leaving Sheila with my son for a few days. Whatever caused it, I am grateful for feeling so much more positive this week. And productive, too!
I’m living in the house I’ve shared with Jim these past seven years. It’s not “my” house (I do get to stay here as long as I want) – so I don’t want to spend a lot of money making changes to a place I don’t own. Jim liked darker neutral colors, so I figured I’d just live with the darker walls, countertops and backsplash in the kitchen. But one day this week I thought I’d try rolling up those dark area rugs in the living and bedroom – and it made a big difference. So then I thought why not take down the darker wall art, too? A clean slate. Then came the internet searching for bright and colorful rugs and I found a couple right away that I loved at first sight. I searched for some wall art and found that easily, too. And once everything arrived and was put in place – it immediately changed my outlook. It made me happy – what a surprise! So then I went out to the workshop where I keep my art and creative stuff from my time of holding retreats – and I brought a few of those item
s into the house to put on the mantle. It’s not everyone’s taste but it sure makes me smile. And smiles have been hard to come by these past few months.
And yes – I did “talk” to Jim as I was making all of these changes. I loved living here with him, and the house decor was not at all important to me then. But now – living on my own, grieving the loss of both Jim and Vern, soon to be turning 75 – these superficial things suddenly did seem to matter. I do believe he would be happy that I did this (but probably also happy he doesn’t have to live with all this color).
This home now feels like my sanctuary and matches how much I love our backyard. I’m comfortable living here alone.
Oh! Another unexpected 333 came up as I was searching for some wall art to complement the new bedroom rug. I liked this print … and then noticed the 333 down on the bottom corner! Yep. It’s now on my wall.
And I’ve finally made a good dent in sorting through all of the Garvey stuff to prepare for when his son arrives in April to pick it all up along with the Harley.
This week also brought some people back into my life unexpectedly – long time neighbors from my old house in Henderson, coworkers from my MGM Grand Garden ushering days, and dear old friends from Michigan I had lost touch with. All because we gathered to say goodbye to a dear friend. What a blessing.
I’m appreciating this newfound feeling but know all too well that it is more than likely temporary. The missing will continue …
