Widow's Voice

Finding a Way to Grow

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I had an appointment with a local acupuncturist in town. My main acupuncturist (yes, I have 2) is an hour away and I’d been meaning to schedule with the local one since we trade services occasionally. It had been awhile since I’d been to her office.

When I got out of the Jeep, I almost immediately stepped on a large, round grate set into the asphalt of the parking lot. Then I remember the last time I was there, quite possibly a year ago by now, and that same grate.

At that time, I remember the sun was out and a ray illuminated down into the grate enough to catch a tiny hint of green. I paused and peered down in there to see a couple small leaves. Somehow, there was a plant growing down in there.

Warp up to today and that plant is now just about reaching out of the grate. It’s probably grown about 2 feet. It might actually be a tree of some sort.

a round drain grate with a green plant growing up out of the drain

Nature finds a way.

And then it hit me…

When we find ourselves in a hole, in the dark, or even confined by circumstance, we may still find ways to grow.

In the case of this drain hole, the confined space actually protected the seedling. Had it started to grow in a crack in the asphalt parking lot it probably would have been run over long ago.

Sometimes our own holes we find ourselves in may be providing the protective “walls” we need at that point in time so that we may gather ourselves.

Sometimes, being a little closed off affords us the time to grow a little stronger.

Small rays of light may still find us.

What is important to remember is that we cannot remain in the hole forever. We can use the space, but it’s simply not feasible to stay there long term. Like the little sapling, it’s going to have to get out of there to continue to grow.

So we must also evaluate our own holes and walls and barriers we construct. Do we still need the protection they offer? Are we getting enough light? Are we ready to grow further?

What “growing further” means is unique to each person.

What growing further means to me, at this point in my life, seems to be intricately connected to a web of possibilities. What caught me off guard was climbing out of my hole and going right into a rather fun and interesting rabbit hole.

Looking back, in my case I feel like I had to do what I did (staying safely in the confines of my “hole”) in order to emerge where I am now.

I’m definitely not saying that ALL holes you may find yourself in are good or protective, but SOME certainly can be. This is where that evaluation and self reflection comes in. Sometimes you may need help, sometimes you just come to a point where you are ready to emerge on your own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

About Sherry Holub

I met my spouse, Mario, at UCLA School of Art in 1993. After graduating in 1995, I founded a small agency specializing in web and graphic design. Mario became my partner in the company in 1999. In 2002, we were married at the Costa Mesa, CA court house because neither of us wanted a big wedding ceremony (after already being together since 1995).

Mario was a highly talented artist, musician, illustrator and 3D Designer, but a tortured one. He was one of those gentle, creative souls who ended up burning twice as bright for half as long. Mario lost the battle with liver disease induced by alcoholism (almost exactly 6 months after he became sober) on 2/10/21.

I’m a long-time artist and writer with a background in photography who enjoys cooking, getting outdoors, staying young at heart, and sharing experiences to potentially help others. When it comes to writing, I’ve written both for fun and professionally over the years. Writing is also sometimes therapy for me and I don’t mind sharing my personal experiences with a wider audience.