Days gone by and memories passed,
we can’t hold on,
they’re not meant to last.
Every now and then, something will trigger an old memory for me. They’re almost always of the good times.
Thinking back, I really spent the majority of my youth living in the moment. In hindsight, current me is rather impressed that past me was able to do that.
Oddly, Imalso have a lot of good memories that focus on what might have seemed like mundane activities, but reflecting on them now, seem more important. The fact that a key person I made the memory with is dead probably has something to do with that.
I remember this one time that Mario and I drove up to the mountains to go to an outdoor rave. There was something extra special about that one. The vibe, the artists involved and the music they played (both DJs and live electronic music…it was magical. Truly something that I don’t think could be recreated. I image people who went to the original Woodstock would say something similar.
For a period of about 8 years, there were many such raves. It was the 1990’s. We’d grown up the decade before, solidifying many of the classic GenX traits acquired by truly believing you did not have a future. We all thought we were going to be nuked and we were wise enough to know that hiding under our school desks were not going to save us.
The Cold War officially ended in 1991, so for us, the 90s was kind of the party decade. We stopped thinking we had no future, but at the same time we weren’t really thinking about the future either. We graduated college in 1995. By 1999, the worst impending doom was Y2K, which to us was just a source of endless jokes rather anything of real concern. Besides, all of us knew if there was some sort of worldwide computer collapse, we’d just fall back on our feral GexX genes. We’d be fine.
New Years eve 1999, was one of the biggest raves I’d ever attended. We ushered in a new, uncertain decade completely wasted and dancing for about 8 hours straight. I remember Mario and I carpooling home from that as the sun was coming up.
I think back of all the times we watched the sun rise on a new day after staying up and out all night long. While the large majority of people slept, we lived in what felt like an ethereal realm sometimes… the middle of the night, in the city of Los Angeles and outlying areas.
I’m glad I made it through that era without too much damage being done. I definitely don’t have any regrets because I truly feel that we did indeed live in the moment.
Now, many years since, there’s an imbalance of too much ruminating about the future. I’d rather get back to more mindfully facing each day, taking it in as it unfolds and being present for all of it.
