Widow's Voice

Carrying it Forward

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I was straightening some things on my dresser the other day when I’d noticed one of the few clothing accessories of Mario’s that I’d held on to: a vintage brass Darth Vader belt buckle. He was probably wearing it when it when we first met. He really liked that belt buckle. He’d had it since he was a small child.

Vintage Darth Vader belt buckle

I have to admit, when I saw Star Wars as a child, I was not a fan of Luke and Leia. I liked Han Solo, but Darth Vader was an intriguing bad guy to me. And I can definitely see why Mario liked “the dark side”. Star Wars in general though was one of his favorite things. So there was no way I could have gotten rid of that belt buckle. But it’s just been gathering dust, barely noticed on my dresser for over 5 years now.

That’s when the thought hit me … why am I not wearing this thing? I mean, it’s pretty cool regardless. I’m a big fan of vintage stuff in general. It’s kind of a no-brainer now that I think about it. Yet it only then just dawned on me.

There is something kind of quietly profound about realizing that an object doesn’t just have to sit on a dresser as just a keepsake of your spouse’s past but it can cross over and become a part of your present, too.

Wearing a spouse’s belongings is such a universal thread in the widowed community, but the shift from holding onto it to actually wearing it carries its own distinct kind of magic. The Darth Vader belt buckle is such a wonderful, personal piece of Mario to carry forward, full of personality, childhood nostalgia, and love. I think he’d dig that I’m actually rockin’ it now.

What are you wearing that your spouse once loved?

About Sherry Holub

I met my spouse, Mario, at UCLA School of Art in 1993. After graduating in 1995, I founded a small agency specializing in web and graphic design. Mario became my partner in the company in 1999. In 2002, we were married at the Costa Mesa, CA court house because neither of us wanted a big wedding ceremony (after already being together since 1995).

Mario was a highly talented artist, musician, illustrator and 3D Designer, but a tortured one. He was one of those gentle, creative souls who ended up burning twice as bright for half as long. Mario lost the battle with liver disease induced by alcoholism (almost exactly 6 months after he became sober) on 2/10/21.

I’m a long-time artist and writer with a background in photography who enjoys cooking, getting outdoors, staying young at heart, and sharing experiences to potentially help others. When it comes to writing, I’ve written both for fun and professionally over the years. Writing is also sometimes therapy for me and I don’t mind sharing my personal experiences with a wider audience.