Widow's Voice

Time Marches On

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Another Thanksgiving down and this one was an oddball one. My mom is still slowing getting her mobility back, so she opted out. Mario’s dad had a cold, so he opted out. My dad passed away over the summer, so this marks the first year of his absence. I still cooked and a friend of mine enjoyed an early meal, then Later in the day I took my mom some leftovers and hung out with her for awhile.

I guess this is just what happens as you get older and you don’t have any kids—less and less relatives at the holidays.

It helps that I’ve learned to love cooking, or I probably would not be very motivated to do it. Oddly, Mario was a little bit of inspiration when it comes to cooking. While I always liked baking, I was kind of meh about cooking for many years. Mario loved to cook though. He was the type who enjoyed following a recipe to a T. I’m kind of the opposite.

In Mario’s last months, he enjoyed making food for me and it’s something I’ll always remember. Those months included “the holidays”, so I’ve definitely been thinking of those days again and I’m sure will do so every year for the foreseeable future.

I don’t have to really go too deep into that fact that holidays can be an emotionally difficult time for anyone who has lost loved ones. Their missing presence is a cold reminder.

So one of the things I try to do, around this time especially, is to do more things that make me happy. Sometimes it’s helping others, could be cooking and baking, or it could just be something that brings a smile to my face.

This year, I decided, for the first time ever, to have Christmas lights put up on my house. I have really tall rooflines and a fear of heights so my foray into adding Christmas lights has been relegated to my front porch and my back deck (and sometimes my shed). When I saw a neighbor’s house with lights, I asked her if she had someone put them up and she gave me a referral to the guy.

A photo of colored Christmas lights on a house and pine tree at night.

So this week, he came by and put the lights up. I also always wanted this perfect shaped pine in my yard to have Christmas lights, so we gave it a go. I think the tree is about 35 feet high. We were using my extending pole which is 30 foot, so it was difficult to get the lights all the way to the top, but I’m honestly not fussed about it. At night, the lights do bring a smile to my face. I’m sure the neighbors enjoy them too.

In a couple days, I’ll get my tree out and all the interesting and wonderful ornaments I’ve collected over the years. That also brings me joy every year so it’s definitely a tradition I’ll continue.

About Sherry Holub

I met my spouse, Mario, at UCLA School of Art in 1993. After graduating in 1995, I founded a small agency specializing in web and graphic design. Mario became my partner in the company in 1999. In 2002, we were married at the Costa Mesa, CA court house because neither of us wanted a big wedding ceremony (after already being together since 1995).

Mario was a highly talented artist, musician, illustrator and 3D Designer, but a tortured one. He was one of those gentle, creative souls who ended up burning twice as bright for half as long. Mario lost the battle with liver disease induced by alcoholism (almost exactly 6 months after he became sober) on 2/10/21.

I’m a long-time artist and writer with a background in photography who enjoys cooking, getting outdoors, staying young at heart, and sharing experiences to potentially help others. When it comes to writing, I’ve written both for fun and professionally over the years. Writing is also sometimes therapy for me and I don’t mind sharing my personal experiences with a wider audience.