In my pre-widow life I was fortunate to have lots of friends. We bonded over jobs or kids or committee work or a combination of any/all of these. I knew the value of girlfriends who set you straight when you are weaving a self-destructive path, those who would hold your hair at just the right moment, and the ones with whom I could share my child…
widowed friendships
Buoyancy
Buoyancy (defined) is the upward force that keeps things afloat. This force enables the object to float or at least seem lighter. “At least seem lighter…”I was thinking about Michele’s post from yesterday and this word kept sort of popping into my head. I have a number of people who help me stay afloat and I wouldn’t be here (or anywhere else for…
Widows Rock
Last week was a whirlwind of party planning, traveling, and meeting new people who have been touched by the work of Soaring Spirits…and this blog. I attended three of the four holiday events (sorry Austin, I so wanted to be there!) planned by some amazing women, and supported by fantastic sponsors from all walks of lifeI traveled up and down…
The Value of a Friend (part One Million and One…)
These are the faces of a few of the women who celebrated 40 with me in Vegas… interestingly enough, all of them had read last week’s blog and were still brave enough to go! Thanks guys! I’m not usually as black as last week, and I think I stirred up a few worries with that post. It is what it is, and most of the people in my life get it, or at…
Still Helpless
Michelle and I have been doing this widow thing side by side for almost four years. When we met we were both newly widowed, and shell shocked. Each of us watched our dreams for the future unceremoniously demolished as one minute passed into the next. Thrown into a whirlwind of grief we discovered each other in the eye of the storm.For the first…
8 Strangers
Peace comes tonight in the form of 8 strangers. Mexican and Jewish, white and other, one young with child on the way, one older with a young child, spiritual, long haired, outgoing and quiet, well dressed and unclipped toe nails.We are strangers. We come together and shut the door, shut the unclear, confusing and sometimes mean world on the other…
I Am Thankful
This weekend I am at another AWP event. We have military widows from all different creeds and backgrounds, all celebrating, smiling and living life to the fullest. As I sit in their presence, I am in awe and honored to be in their presence.In each of them I celebrate their own individual journey, as it reinforces my own. I never envisioned my life…
Unlikely Community
When Phil died on August 31, 2005 Matt and Liz Logelin were a happy couple with their whole lives ahead of them. As my body writhed in pain at the violent removal of my husband from my life, Matt was thinking about his next trip with Liz and the adventures that traveling the world with the love of his life would surely bring. While I searched for a…
Flashlight in Hand
After Michael was killed, people I had known nearly my whole life seemed to drop like flies, one by one. The calls came less and less and with each meet up it seemed like bricks had been laid that separated me from them more and more. The lack of understanding, the not knowing what to do, or just the not wanting to know what I was going through,…
Good Enough?
One of the most amazing things about having a widow friend to share this bumpy road with is that I always have someone with whom to discuss the daily questions of life. One issue that has occupied Michelle and I (pictured here right after the Widow Dash in San Diego) is the concept of good enough. When you feel that life has already given you an…
The 3 Amigos
After David died the quantity of my friends were seriously reduced. Most feared approaching me, most didn’t know what to say when they did… Some pretended like his death never happened. It was a filtering process. At first, the filtering process surprised me. I didn’t want to lose friends… especially those who knew David… but it was…
The Value of a Friend (continued)….
I spent this past weekend at the first ever National Conference on Widowhood, an experience I now fondly call “Camp Widow”. I watched in awe as women from around the world met each other for the first time and talked for hours like long lost friends. I’ll never say I take my friendship with Michele for granted; having a widow friend to walk…