https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9l44_n60QQ8 I’ll be seeing you just yesterday you reminded me of your presence when a monarch butterfly came so close to me…flew into the garage and looked around….at the story, when the paint brushes I need showed up in the most unlikely place . . . I am seeing you . . . In all […]
reflecting back
ONE WIDOW’s ABC’s
FROM THE CAMP WIDOW EXPERIENCE A – ALLOWING myself to need help was harder to do than one might think. It allowed me to receive. B – BY the time I arrived at my second camp, it was not long before I found a familiar face and a warm hug. C – CARING for myself […]
WHO AM I?
WHO AM I NOW? In talking with an old friend yesterday—recently widowed and in that oh-so-new-place of figuring out life without them—I found myself musing about who I am at mile marker 314 days. It’s hard not to compare life “then” with life “now”. The feeling, no longer new but never normal, of something missing; […]
NEARING YEAR’S END
Noticing the Passing of Time Frost is something that we take notice of when it arrives to our Southern California neighborhood. Many winters come and go without so much as an icy car windshield at year’s end when many places in our hemisphere are covered in snow. It was a balmy April night when he […]
Today I am thinking about us . . .
. . . and horses . . . I surprised myself the other day at how emotional I got about recalling how much horses taught me about life and living. A friend posted a lovely story about mares….how they have to protect their young and fight off any predators that seek to harm their foals. […]
One of the many places . . .
. . . he is missing It began in 2001 when Christmas tree lover, Danielle, was living in a college dorm and needed help to get a Christmas tree for her home away from home. Of course, she called her dad, and so the tradition began. The conversation about “when” would begin during Thanksgiving dinner […]
CAN IT BE POSSIBLE . . .
. . . THAT OUR SONG BEGINS AGAIN? Adjusting to a daily work schedule, a new work environment, and an entirely new set of applications and procedures left me distracted enough this week that I forgot what day it was. So here I am, for the first time since July, typing my blog on […]
WE CELEBRATE DIA DE LOS MUERTOS
IN HONOR OF OUR BELOVED DEAD Lady La Muerte The Lady La Muerte arrives in her finest gown Covered with butterflies, up and down; her dress the color of la muerte; her hat needs the bull fighter’s suerte; From afar la familia muerta looks on, To one special cowboy we are drawn, — […]
THE WONDER OF A CAMP FOR WIDOWED PEOPLE
The Wonder of Peer Support. This past weekend, I attended Camp Widow as a newly widowed person where you immediately feel that people understand your feelings. Peer support is the “process of giving and receiving encouragement and assistance to achieve long-term recovery.” Peer supporters “offer emotional support, share knowledge, teach skills, provide practical assistance, and […]
Camp Widow – For The Very First Time
What is Camp Widow anyway? Camp Widow is an event started by our first-born daughter in response to her beloved husband, Phillip, being taken away by death much too soon. Camp Widow is a generous effort by one widow to honor and acknowledge the pain of all widows and widowers by offering them a place […]
Confessions
Hi Babe, It’s been 166 days, 22 hours, 32 minutes and 16 seconds since you left. The clock ticks on as I write, rendering the time estimate incorrect seconds after I type it. Confession seems warranted since I sometimes cannot remember if I’ve showered— and apparently I made a tribute tile for you but I […]
A Letter to My Younger Self
Dear Younger Self, Today is the four year anniversary of that horrible day… and you are just beginning on this ride of horrors. I wish I could have been there at the beginning. From here, there is so much I can tell you about what you’ll be facing in the years ahead, and about what wondrous things will unfold, too. I wanted to take a moment to…