…. with a memory. Especially a memory that has become gold-lined over the past 2 + years. I’m referring, of course, to my teenagers’ memory of their father.Don’t get me wrong …. he was a great husband (the best I ever had …. ok, so he was the only one I ever had …. whatever). He was a very good father. He was an exceptional man with a…
dating after widowhood
Dating help from Jeff
I have realized through my recent, brief and unsuccessful foray into the world of widowed dating that I am most definitely not looking for Jeff. It is not that I am measuring how certain men stand up to the man that Jeff was. It’s that I am looking at them through not only my eyes, but Jeff’s as well.Yesterday, as I stood in line at the bank, I…
Romance, the Second Time Around ….
….. is not a walk in the freakin’ park. Don’t get me wrong …. it can certainly be wonderful ….. but it also can really piss me off.I tend to get pissed at Jim a lot now …. for dying and leaving my in this position. I wouldn’t have to be dating someone new if he hadn’t died. I wouldn’t be getting angry at how different this man is if he…
Is It Worth the Effort?
I am in a relationship. It’s been about 5 months now and it’s mostly going great. Mostly. I am finding that having a relationship while still grieving for what I do not have is very, very difficult. Of course it’s difficult to blend the children. Some of mine are making it WAY difficult. His (he has been a widower for over 8 years) have been great.
Kissing
I don’t remember how Art kissed. I remember how it felt. Warm, sensual, desired, sexy, girly, vixenish, delightful. When the connection was right, our kissing opened a door that lead to ….I kissed a guy last night. He’s not the first one that I have kissed but last time, back in the earlier months I kissed for and with the need to connect, to…
Fill the Void?
The thought occasionally enters my mind now and then that maybe I should date. I’m lonely. I want someone to talk to. Someone to spend time with. Someone to care about and have care about me. But then, I wonder, am I just looking for Jeff? No one is EVER going to measure up to him. No one is ever going to have his sense of humor, his sexiness, his…
Finding Balance…..
….. seems to be life-long process, doesn’t it? We try to find balance between school work and fun, then between marriage and work, then between marriage and work and children. For the past two years I’ve struggled to find balance between grieving and living.And now my heart is trying to find a new balance …. between a wonderful current…
Throwing in the Towel
I have often said that anyone whose spouse has died should receive an automatic, lifetime, get-out-of-jail-free card. This card would be used for things like avoiding leaking faucets, flat tires, broken fences, faulty plumbing, and critters stuck under the house or in the chimney. This all purpose pass should also free the bearer from: teenage…
A Mending Heart
Yes, I can feel my heart mending. Not healing, really, because I don’t think it will ever be completely healed, but it will mend and have a permanent scar upon it. But in the mending process I’m also finding out that it’s growing a bit larger. You see, I have met someone and we are truly enjoying each other’s company and learning to care for each…
What Do You Need?
In a recent conversation with a friend about my interest in ever dating again, I was asked the following question: “You are so strong and so independent, do you ever really need someone else? You don’t seem to need anyone for anything.” It actually started a month long internal dialogue with myself that hasn’t quite been resolved. What do I need?…
Dancing Lessions
I have always felt like a flunky on the dance floor. At my college roommate’s wedding an elderly man (he was probably the age I am now) asked me to dance. I politely said that I did not know how to dance but he insisted that it was simple and all that I needed was to follow his lead. Ignoring my protests, he grabbed me, leaving me little choice.