i carry it in my heart . . . after e.e. cummings poem i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear) e.e. cummings i carry your heart with me the heart that broke—grew—broke literally—and mended […]
biglove
Traveling in the Land of Grief
One hundred and fifty two days ago my beloved husband transitioned into death. In that time I have learned that the reality of death and grief is something that cannot be understood unless you are in it. I thought I knew something of it, having experienced other loved ones passing. I was wrong. The photo […]
Love Always Wins
The Power of Memory Do you ever wonder how certain memories come back to teach us about ourselves? The lesson for me in this week’s post is that dying is damn hard. Sometimes, in the midst of it, we don’t feel the full impact. Then your dog dies and it all comes rushing in. Death […]
The Anatomy of a Love Song
Love Begets Love A lifetime of love, like seeds in soil, sprouts and multiplies in the right conditions. When seeds of love sprout—love blooms. Love begets love. This explains how this precious song arrives here today. The home for this song is a website our family created for Dan named CowboyDan.org. A brain-child of our […]
Photographs and Memories
Pieces of You Photographs and memories All the love you gave to me Somehow it just can’t be true That’s all I’ve left of you In the midst of meal prep, sorting through items while seeking the right tool in a kitchen drawer, I saw a blackened, overused kitchen fork. It immediately took me to […]
Of Butterflies, Puppies, and the Dan Neff Dog
The surprising journey of widowhood. Part of the widowed journey, as I experience it, is having to face new things. Some new things contain the kind of surprises you don’t want to receive. For example, if your partner always took the dog to vet, then the first vet visit on your own might surprise you […]
Both / And
Both/And thinking [the opposite of either/or thinking] recognizes the folly of assuming that the new will totally supplant the old. Seeing with Both/And eyes recognizes that two opposite realities can be integrated. Adapted from Daniel Burrus at Burrus Research Today marks two months and two weeks since my beloved, Daniel Paul Neff, took his last […]
Missing our Papa on Father’s Day
What happens on Father’s Day for the family whose Papa has passed on to another dimension? Is there a way to connect from afar? When my dad passed away in 1994 I wondered, with my siblings, how we could live in a world where he was missing. Each child whose father–or special person–has passed on […]
Big Love
My smile has been gone for a long time. I wore it effortlessly when Mike was alive. But, now, my smile feels like an accessory I wear only on special occasions. I know that it won’t be like this forever because I love life too much to never smile again. But, for right now, my heart feels empty, And, I see a deficiency of joy in my eyes.