Main image by Guille Pozzi on Unsplash
I saw yet another film today. I am seeing rather a few at the moment. Anytime I go into town, I work out whether or not I can sneak in a film on my way home. And sometimes I can. So I just do.
Late afternoon or early evening showings are my favourite. Small, independent cinemas where it’s totally fine to be female and on your own.
I have six years practice now, going to see films on my own. Even if I do also go to see films with Medjool, my sis, or other chica friends. I still cannot go to a multi-plex on a Friday or Saturday night. I also feel incapable of heading out to see a box office hit on my own, even in an independent cinema, on a Friday or Saturday night. Still feels far too much like something only a real “sadster” would do. I can do sadster things, but only mid-week, or only in small, independent cinemas.
Today’s film was about devastating grief and loss. As so often. I feel as though every film I see has loss running through its veins. Or perhaps it’s just the lenses I wear.
Grief and losses that make characters behave inexplicably badly.
Grief and losses that make characters behave understandably badly.
Grief and losses that make characters believable and interesting.
Grief and losses that drive behaviour, that shape lives, from here on out.
Grief and losses that connect characters for evermore, just because they share the grief story.
The film I watched was “The Whale” where the death that happened before the film even began, rippled and reverberated for the duration of the story, pretty much through every character.
Resulting in a web of deep sadness and depression.
Image by Robert Thiemann on Unsplash
Isolation.
Anger.
Bitterness.
Plenty of bible bashing.
Not to mention binge eating and over drinking.
For years.
The main character lost his lover.
The main character also lost his daughter, and his wife.
And his health.
The wife lost her husband.
The daughter lost her dad.
The friend lost her brother.
The missionary lost his church and his family.
That is a lot of loss for one film. With all the concomitant grief dragging along with it.
No-one able to alleviate any of the sadness. Not even for a little bit.
No-one at fault. No-one to blame.
Life is just a big, messy web of grief and loss sometimes.
With losses that run so deep. Losses that are so old.
And so very weighty.
