Year Three My imagination moves toward the clouds when I think of Dan. In the early days, I explored the clouds with curiosity and searched for him there. This particular cloud image is meant to show me...
This past weekend some of my in-laws visited; Erik’s dad, his stepmom, and his older brother. It’s always great to have them visit and the twins always love being around them. While they were only...
As I started to get ready for bed tonight, I realized it was Monday and I haven’t yet written anything. Our days feel so packed right now I don’t find myself looking too far forward. Which is probably...
The other week I had my annual check up with my doctor in Georgia. She said the numbers of my last round of blood work ups were so good she didn’t even order new tests. I try to make my physical health...
Grief is such a crazy emotion. What’s even crazier, is you could research it … study it … but it is such a complex and shape-shifting thing I find it pretty impossible to confine it in a tidy box...
I brought the proposed estate documents my lawyer prepared to Arizona this past winter. With lots of free time, I planned to use some of it to review and revise. Now, it’s springtime. I’m back home...
Buried under too many things to mention, I reached out to Mary and asked her to use this blog from my earliest days of grief as a fill-in for Wednesday, April 10th. As I move toward the 3-Year Anniversary...
A repost! I miss the little things. The things not many people talk about in loss. I don’t just miss my person on holidays, anniversaries, or milestones, but all those in between days. All the in-between...
The kids and I made a plan for what to do on the upcoming third anniversary of Tony’s death. One of the boys and I were by ourselves driving recently when he asked me about camping. If we were ever...
With so much happening during the last week of March ending with the observance of Easter, I saved my planned post for this week. So, today, I wish a belated Happy Birthday to Harriet White Fisher who...
It’s been a slow week for me on the writing front, so I will give you Mario’s obituary, which I wrote on Valentine’s day, four days after The Day, because what else would I have done...
Before this week’s tutoring session, I received the announcement that in several weeks my assigned student, Zoey, a fifth grader, will have end-of-year proficiency tests in reading and math. I’m not...
Year Three My imagination moves toward the clouds when I think of Dan. In the early days, I explored the clouds with curiosity and searched for him there. This particular cloud image is meant to show me...
Buried under too many things to mention, I reached out to Mary and asked her to use this blog from my earliest days of grief as a fill-in for Wednesday, April 10th. As I move toward the 3-Year Anniversary...
Fact: I am a hopeless cinephile. I was reminded of my love of film while watching a documentary on YouTube named “Sr.” The film features the life of Robert Downey, Sr., created and filmed by...
“Today, March 26, 2024, the moon is 16 days old and is entering the waning gibbous phase of its lunar cycle. It is 98% illuminated.” — Space.com This morning I stepped out the back door...
I choose art media like I choose sandwiches. I go with my favorite. The sure thing. What I love the most — Collage. Creating through collage requires bringing many things together into a whole. Like...
A Conversation I see you, fear. I see you once again and say ‘hey’ formidable crafty opposer. Mess-making friend who turns the neatly arranged inner furniture up-side-down and...
Up at night? What to do? Stare at the ceiling? Worry? Go online? Or try something new . . . A stream of consciousness writing exercise called Writing Practice. Created by a writing...
One Person’s Take GRIEF I had my own notion of grief. I thought it was a sad time that followed the death of someone you love. And you had to push through it to get to the other side. But I’m...
COMMUNITY! Good things emerge from great need. The first of its kind, Camp Widow is an example of a good thing born out of great need when a 36-year-old suddenly-widowed woman found herself in need of...
Do you ever have such a busy week that you forget what day it is? This is me. This week. Forgetting what day it is (Blog Day) and scrambling to say something meaningful about a concept that is a treasure...
Powerful Medicine for Broken Hearts [COMMUNITY: Part 5] “What are you seeking?” they asked. “I just want to find normal again,” they answered. To survive...
. . FEAR I rather envy those who don’t seem to have a lot of fears. Even if it is “not noticing” or “tuning it out” it is a skill that might be helpful at times for someone...
Last Wednesday, when I told Robyn that I might make it home in just three days, instead of the usual four or five, I knew accomplishing the feat meant extending each day’s drive by several additional...
On Valentine’s Day, a sweet black and white border collie-mix puppy found a new home! Lot’s of love…but not much sleep as to which any puppy raiser can attest. Some asked when they heard...
Robyn arrived on Super Bowl Sunday, fresh off visiting her son, her brother, and one of the grandkids in southern California. Robyn was greeted by a small earthquake upon her arrival there, but I would...
Happy Lunar New Year. This weekend, as millions mingle in Las Vegas for the Super Bowl, another event will be celebrated across the world on an even larger platform! At this moment, millions of people...
Lee’s brother and her mom used to regale me with stories of her harrowing first year of life, when, for a time it appears, she hovered above the razor’s edge between life and death. Happily, for...
This past weekend Robyn, Lola the pup, and I were in the Cleveland area to see our friends Bob and Linda. Early Saturday afternoon, while Lola stayed home to relax, we humans left to eat at a cozy restaurant/gift...
It had rained non-stop from Illinois and Indiana through Ohio and Kentucky, into parts of Tennessee, crisscrossing the Great Smokey Mountains. A challenging stretch of road for two flatlanders but we...
A fellow widow asked if weddings would always be hard for us to go to and I found myself looking back to the first wedding I attended after Tony died. It was an out-of-town wedding that took place 6 weeks...
Lee died three years’ ago this week — on July 2 to be precise. This year the date fell on a Sunday. This year, when I awoke, Robyn was with me. I felt no ambivalence about this circumstance...
Image by Markus Spiske on Unsplash Yesterday, a fellow widbud, a woman I have never met but who someone connected with me, and who lost her husband just before Christmas 2022 after a very short illness,...
Photos my own This is – and will continue to be – a weekend full of experiments. A lot of my life is still versions of experimentation, if not in the ways it was immediately post-loss(es) when even...
Photo of my parents in 1961 in Córdoba, Spain – from their archives Medjool and I have just had a lovely 10 day “working break”, based mostly at my parents’ house in Céret in the Pyrénées...
A repost! I miss the little things. The things not many people talk about in loss. I don’t just miss my person on holidays, anniversaries, or milestones, but all those in between days. All the in-between...
What a week! Sometimes, life just piles it on, doesn’t it? Last week, was spring break so the kids were home all week. I didn’t take any time off work, so we did our best to balance it all. They ran...
COMMUNITY! Good things emerge from great need. The first of its kind, Camp Widow is an example of a good thing born out of great need when a 36-year-old suddenly-widowed woman found herself in need of...
I miss the little things. The things not many people talk about in loss. I don’t just miss my person on holidays, anniversaries, or milestones, but all those in between days. All the in-between minutes...
Do you ever have such a busy week that you forget what day it is? This is me. This week. Forgetting what day it is (Blog Day) and scrambling to say something meaningful about a concept that is a treasure...
This past weekend our family celebrated Lunar New Year, as we do every year, but our second without Erik. For the first time since his passing, I wasn’t truly dreading a holiday. It was one of Erik’s...
Happy Lunar New Year. This weekend, as millions mingle in Las Vegas for the Super Bowl, another event will be celebrated across the world on an even larger platform! At this moment, millions of people...
Last week the kids and I were on our annual holiday vacation. Since Tony’s death, I have taken the kids to Disney World, Beaches Jamaica, and now Xcaret Mexico over the holiday break. There are a variety...
A Brief List of Happenings This year I eschewed a few traditions. “No,” I told my children, “I am not depressed; not avoiding you; not in a funk. Just changing it up for New Year’s...
Whew. And just like that the season is wrapped up. Finally. Since the ‘ber months started all I could think to myself was, just get me to January 2nd. As hard as it is every day to live with grief it’s...
Happy New Year everyone!! Emily is out and enjoying vacation with her kids. Please give her post from the start of 2023 a read as it is still quite fitting to be present in 2024 too! ~Mary “In my...
Through Numbers This is my 85th blog post as a widow. By 71 years + 230 days, time marked 32 years since Dan’s first heart attack at age 39. When he died, we had been married for 18,913 days (50...
Year Three My imagination moves toward the clouds when I think of Dan. In the early days, I explored the clouds with curiosity and searched for him there. This particular cloud image is meant to show me...
This past weekend some of my in-laws visited; Erik’s dad, his stepmom, and his older brother. It’s always great to have them visit and the twins always love being around them. While they were only...
As I started to get ready for bed tonight, I realized it was Monday and I haven’t yet written anything. Our days feel so packed right now I don’t find myself looking too far forward. Which is probably...
The other week I had my annual check up with my doctor in Georgia. She said the numbers of my last round of blood work ups were so good she didn’t even order new tests. I try to make my physical health...
Grief is such a crazy emotion. What’s even crazier, is you could research it … study it … but it is such a complex and shape-shifting thing I find it pretty impossible to confine it in a tidy box...
Buried under too many things to mention, I reached out to Mary and asked her to use this blog from my earliest days of grief as a fill-in for Wednesday, April 10th. As I move toward the 3-Year Anniversary...
A repost! I miss the little things. The things not many people talk about in loss. I don’t just miss my person on holidays, anniversaries, or milestones, but all those in between days. All the in-between...
The kids and I made a plan for what to do on the upcoming third anniversary of Tony’s death. One of the boys and I were by ourselves driving recently when he asked me about camping. If we were ever...
Fact: I am a hopeless cinephile. I was reminded of my love of film while watching a documentary on YouTube named “Sr.” The film features the life of Robert Downey, Sr., created and filmed by...
Today during school pickup a little girl from the twins’ class ran up to me and started pulling at my jacket. As I was in the middle of hugging Charlotte, I didn’t pay her much attention. She kept...
Today marks the beginning of another April. This is THE month for me, the one we lost Tony. Last week I was chatting with a friend, and she asked me how I was feeling with the anniversary coming up soon...
As I’ve relayed in previous posts, in February I traveled from Florida to my brother’s home in New York State with the urgent news that my mother was not doing well. I understood that this would...
As I started to get ready for bed tonight, I realized it was Monday and I haven’t yet written anything. Our days feel so packed right now I don’t find myself looking too far forward. Which is probably...
The kids and I made a plan for what to do on the upcoming third anniversary of Tony’s death. One of the boys and I were by ourselves driving recently when he asked me about camping. If we were ever...
Today marks the beginning of another April. This is THE month for me, the one we lost Tony. Last week I was chatting with a friend, and she asked me how I was feeling with the anniversary coming up soon...
St. Patrick’s Day 2024 marked two years since Erik took his last breath. This year seemed to be more challenging in different ways than I remembered year one being. It seemed to hit harder and more vivid...
What a week! Sometimes, life just piles it on, doesn’t it? Last week, was spring break so the kids were home all week. I didn’t take any time off work, so we did our best to balance it all. They ran...
Next Sunday is our wedding anniversary. Because it’s on St. Patrick’s Day, people tend to remember the date. Last night, my friends were asking how I wanted to spend that day and offered companionship...
As we have now entered the dark month I find myself significantly more anxious during my days, more than I have been for a while. I feel like I have been trying so hard to not live in the days of 2022...
A repost! As my birthday approaches next week so does the day that I met Erik. I met him the day after my 21st birthday. I always told him getting to meet him was my late, but amazing life-changing birthday...
Through Numbers This is my 85th blog post as a widow. By 71 years + 230 days, time marked 32 years since Dan’s first heart attack at age 39. When he died, we had been married for 18,913 days (50...
And there goes the second December without Erik. This past week has been a whirlwind of emotions. December is always such a hard time. The holiday season starts with our wedding anniversary on the eve...
in Grief and Life I love this image. One folder looks like tax receipts; another could be love letters. Bookends of life. When things go wrong in grief it forms a layer on top of the grief itself. We are...
This past week we did a few holiday activities. It seems I have been trying to fill my time as much as I can in the hopes that I don’t stop long enough to deeply feel what I’m feeling. I know this...
